March 10, 2004

animal blogs

Leave it to me to post an internet e-mail on my blog, but I found this too funny not to share. (For any of those who are wondering, I have a cat.) Thanks to Jen for sending it to me.

The following are excerpts from a dog and cat's journals.

Dog's diary:

8am -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm -- Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm -- Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm -- Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm -- Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My

Cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on
fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded -- must try this at the top of the

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair -- must try this on
their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little cat I was. This did not
work according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout
the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly I overheard that
my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn more about what this is,
and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies,
or more likely snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He
is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other
hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with
them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the metal
room, for now his safety is assured. But I can
wait, it is only a matter of time...

Time is my friend, I can wait, I will repay them

Posted by micah on March 10, 2004 03:22 PM

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