February 28, 2006

Trying to write a paper

Is it just me, or does writing a paper for some class seem to drag on into endless hours? Right now I'm trying to write a simple scene analysis on Raisin in the Sun talking about what's happening, who's it happening to, where, and how is it done. And I find that everytime I have to start a new idea I have to strain to get the motivation to keep typing.

Even now, I have no problem typing for something else, but I move back to the paper and find all my synapses have fried.

Is it just me that has this lethargy when it comes to writing papers, or am I just some weird procrastinator that doesn't have any motivation?

Posted by Fae at 07:43 PM

February 25, 2006


God has given me this intense curiosity about things, making me a lot like a cat. So every once in a while I find things, read things that make my mind go, "ooooh, that is cool!! how in the world?!" And I go to great lengths to find out the background, the exposition, the whatever, so I know tons about it, or I try to find out how to do it.

Unfortunately, every once in a while, I do not have the skills to do, or find, what it is that I am curious about.

Anyway, all this to say, how do you find and use stat-tracker?!? I read Dave's thing that he found someone hitting his site from Togo, and I went, "oooooooh, I want to do that too, cause I'm curious to know who reads this stuff." And what do I find? Nothing! NOTHING!!! *sits and tries not to be envious of someone's stat-tracker*

Can anyone help me out???

Posted by Fae at 10:23 PM

February 23, 2006

What do I want?

That is a question being asked of me from many different places and all in the same meaning. What do I want to do when I gradutate?

To be perfectly honest, I don't really know.

Of course there are many different avenues for me to take. Do I want to stay here, at BJU, and get my Masters? Yes, but it is more of a desire to get a formal education in theater than anything else. That and more classes in art. If I do want to stay here and get a MFA, then what do I want to do to pay for it? Do I want to get a GA-ship? This is the easiest way to pay for it because I will basically be doing what I am doing now, working at the Dining Common, only working someplace else and getting my education. If I don't get a preferred GA position, do I want to work in the Dining Common for the next three years? I don't know. I would prefer not to, but if worst comes to worst.........

If I don't get a GA position, or if my only choice is to work in the Dining Common, then do I want to move back to California and work? This is always an option. While at home I could help out at my high school with theater productions and get a second-hand education in theater, or I could work for the local theater company doing costumes and such and get my theater education that way. The only problem with that is I want a *formal* education. A sit down, listen to lectures, read books, do projects, take tests kind of formal education.

But do I really want to spend the next three or so years getting more educated? Do I really want to spend another three years sitting behind a desk listening to someone drone on for twenty minutes about the past participle in this paragraph that makes the entire story have a different meaning??

All this while I wait for my boyfriend to graduate so we can get married and start the next step in life where I will be faced with more questions.

What do I want?

At this point, I still don't know specific details. But there are three things. To serve God, and thus serve others. To work in theater. And to.......would it be presuptuous of me to say get married to my boyfriend? All in that order. All other things are just the frosting to life. And all other things are the details of my very general, very broad goals in life.

Now, all I have to do is wait and see how God takes care of all of it. What do I want? Patience, to be able to wait for the things coming. Faith, to be able to wait for things coming. Hope, to be able to see that waiting for the things coming is worthwhile. Trust, to be able to understand and not worry that God knows what He is doing in His perfect timing.

Posted by Fae at 05:21 PM