February 18, 2005

I'm taking a moment to look back

It's funny to me how we are always focused on what is ahead. What I have due the next day, when am I going to see my boyfriend again, what's happening this weekend, should I go ahead with getting my Masters in DP, and if so, can I apply for a GAship?

Things like that are always, seemingly, circling round and round my head. But tonight, I want to sit down and look at what has happened the last year. I know that people usually do this at New Years, but I'm feeling a little abnormal right now and so, let's take a look into a year of my life.

A year ago, Red was here. She is the closest thing I think I have ever known to being my soul sister. You know, the person you meet and everything you talk about comes from the same place, the same feelings, and even though you have different views in life and different takes on things, you still understand where the other person is coming from. All I have to do is tell her about one thing in my day and I feel like she is here with me, in the room instead of seven hours away. I don't think anyone on earth can understand how much I cherish the time we are able to spend together. And even though some of those times are crying times, and some of those times are screaming, angry times, I still cherish them. Before I start to really tear up, I'm going on to something else.

A year ago, Robbie, my boyfriend, wasn't here. He had to sit out a semester because he didn't have enough money to come back. I remember the first week, still looking for a piece of orange in a crowd, still straining to hear a Barry White deep voice chuckling at some crazy joke. I went into withdrawls, let me tell you. He would come every month that semester to visit and see me. We weren't going out at the time, but he still came to see me. The last time he came was for Living Gallery and he surprised me by coming a day early. Just ask Key, I was shocked still, and I am never still. That weekend he asked me a question I had been waiting over a year to hear, and I said no. My mind has a tendency to run away with me, and it was long gone by the time Robbie asked me to be his girlfriend. I was a fool for saying no, but God had other plans. I realized a week later what an idiot I was because I wasn't going to see Robbie until the next fall, six months and forever away. I told my mom when I got home how I wanted Robbie to come home with me for Christmas and she asked if it was all right if he came out to California in May. I started crying. Yes, a very girlish response, but hey, give me a break. He came out after a disappointment and a wrong flight later. And the night after he arrived we were offically going steady. In five days it will be our nine month anniversary. Aren't we pathetic?

A year ago, I was in a play, Ground Floor. This play, unlike the one I was in the previous semester, would last only for eight weeks. Eight, glorious, fun, unforgettable weeks. And I didn't speak a word of English in it. *Grin*. I love being in a play. Any part of a play, and I still have the time of my life.

A year ago, I was still a teenager. Wow. I am so old. I never thought I would live to see my twentieth year. Seriously. I either thought the Rapture would happen, or I'd die. And let me just say, God has not dissappointed me. It has been rough, but when is life not rough?

A year ago, I was a Greek Minor. Whatever made me think I could be a Greek Minor?? That language is tough to learn. You have to stick with it, studying it each night for an hour at least to keep everything fresh. Let me tell you, I am a procrastinator to the extreme. If I was to run for the Procrasinator awards, I would receive third place. I'm bad, but I'm not the worst. At least, that is what I hope. Being an Art Minor is a bit more expensive, but it is allowing me to do the things I have always dreamed of doing: weaving, drawing people, and next year I will be taking ceramics. *jumps up and down* I love playing with clay.

A year ago, well....I could go on, but I'm sure you have better things to do then listen to me ramble.

Anyway, this whole post was for a taste of what has happened. Now looking ahead only one thing comes to mind.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus, come!

Posted by Fae at 08:52 PM