September 10, 2012

Is anyone reading this?

I've been in Florida for three years now. Kept the blog pretty consistent 3 years ago at the specific request of my family and close friends who wanted to know how Disney was going for me.

A year ago one of the original bloggers put up some BEAUTIFUL little scenes from J.R.R. Tolkien's world.

And now, I wonder if anyone who WAS reading this blog has stopped checking because nothing was put up in over a year. Or three.

I'm not a writer. I try to tell people this. I don't have this desire to write my thoughts, my characters, my views and opinions down on paper. There are small moments in time when I stumble across the opportunity (like now) and it seems natural to put my thoughts down. I just don't do it. I LOVE reading. I will read blogs and short stories and status updates to catch up with friends thinking that is exactly what I'm doing. Instead I'm just a spectator and not a participator. I fool myself into thinking that my reading, my voyeurism IS participation. My imagination can be so vivid that even with a status update, I feel like I am there, hearing it from their own mouth or seeing it with my own eyes. I don't realize I'm NOT there and I'm NOT seeing it with my own eyes.

And then the realization has hit that I haven't actually TALKED or WRITTEN to these friends in YEARS. I feel like I'm still a part of their life. They feel like they've gotten a cold shoulder.

I don't MEAN to do it. I don't REALIZE I'm doing it. I'm not a writer. I never was.

So forgive me, you who still wander onto this blog randomly. And THANK YOU for your patience and loyalty. If you are there, even if I haven't talked to you in years, can you comment and let me know you are alive?

I may be writing more soon. Sooner than three years at least. I think I've been bitten by a bug and I may actually write on a more frequent basis. I've been alone with my thoughts a lot lately and, it seems to me, to help to relieve the tension building in my brain, I might start writing about it.

But no promises. I'm not a writer, remember?

Posted by Fae at September 10, 2012 11:39 PM