August 22, 2005

Empty Wells

It seems with maturity also comes a tendency to shut down open discussion of my ideas. At least for me. I can remember a younger version of myself that was much more likely to strike up an intense debate on an issue---me defending my point of view, someone else at the lunch table taking the opposing view. This sort of scenario had it's pros and cons. Often it led to a rather antagonistic spirit---however, these discussions forced me to refill my wells with new books, new ideas, and fresh viewpoints.

As I'm a few years out of college now, I have an opposite tendency. When I see some younger people lunge into an issue regarding Christianity, art, culture, what we should or shouldn't do, I often clam up and withdraw.

Where does this come from? Perhaps it's only pride. Perhaps I really don't want to "stoop" to interact with someone more youthful than myself. Perhaps I've simply become more settled in my ways. Maybe I'm just not wanting to have my opinion challenged.

As I read other bloggers' posts on the Web, I feel many feelings at once. First: Where do people get the time to write stuff like that. Second: I wish I had a well of experiences deep enough to pen a paragraph like that. Why don't I feel that deeply anymore?

The probable truth is that I do feel that deeply, but I simply and quickly gloss over thoughtful moments with a speedy return to the day's schedule. Those things I simply must do.

Oh, how to slow enough to ponder and persuade again. But may those moments come with a large dose of humility and grace and Gospel-driven motivation.

Posted by bmcallister at August 22, 2005 11:49 PM | TrackBack