Were any other shopper nearby, I would apologize for the cacophonous symphony emanating from my person. A steadily squeaking shopping cart wheel, a pair of squishing shoes, and a constant hum from my mouth—as full a volume as humming can get—these are enough to exorcise every last vestige of calmness and composure from any unfortunate standers-by. The rhythm of the wheel-squeaking matches the pitter-patter of my worn Converse All-Stars upon the ground. The tempo quickens as I hurry on to grab my last few purchases. Ahead of me wait many hours of poring over the notes of my Early Shakespeare class.
“Hey, man—you from Bob Jones?”
I look back up. The tell-tale khakis gave it away. I was experimenting with a game familiar to many Greenvillians, known as Try-to-Look-Like-You're-Not-a-BJU-Student-While-Still Keeping-the-Dress-Code. I thought the sneakers and the fleece zipped to the neck (covering my collared shirt) might pass me off as your average civilian. I was wrong. I guess I'm not very good at the game.
“Yeah.”
He smiles politely as he continued. Too politely. I begin to suspect that he initiated this conversation for some particular reason. Further polite inquisition meanders about, supplemented with his steady smile and persistently friendly tone.
Hurry up and get to your point. Of course I don't say that. In response to his questions I reveal the who, what, and why about myself.
“So you’re an English major? What kind of job do you want to get with that?”
Aha. Now we’re getting somewhere. The direction of the conversation is becoming clear: he reveals to me that his disgust with the dog-eat-dog work-world has squelched any desire to work a normal 8–5 job.
His motivations emerge. Cordially inquiring into the details of my life, subtly complimenting me, tapping into the universal distaste for tough work—there’s a reason he’s doing this. He’s leading the conversation to a focus. I’m gonna get to hear about some stupid pyramid business scheme. Momentarily I consider cutting right through the formalities to the reason for the conversation. So, have you ever thought of getting a real job? What pyramid business scheme suckered you into thinking you could make a living out of cornering innocent bystanders and dumping your stinkin’ get-rich-quick business spiel on them?
Nevertheless the formalities continue amid cordial grins. Any minute now, though, he’s going to turn to the conversation to his private business. I strain to hear his droning voice over the crescendoing drum roll . . .
“So, have you ever thought of being an entrepreneur?”
Bingo. There it was. An entrepreneur? Why, what a lovely idea. That was awful sweet of you to stop me and relay to me the good news that I can be a millionaire if I join your pyramid business scheme and work just 5-10 hours a week. Now I understand the smiles—I would smile too with that kind of deal. Dissimulating jerk. “Hmm. Can’t say I have. Sounds like it must be nice.” I return his hypocritically jovial smile.
Barely able to contain his joy, he testifies to the liberation he found in his self-employed entrepreneurship, the joy, the innumerable riches to be made. A holy hush descends as he describes the freedom he’s found. Meanwhile, my foot taps a quick beat, betraying the anger masked by the upward-turned corners of my mouth.
Fourteen minutes later we part, exchanging our farewells. As I shuffle through the checkout line, the jovial beeping of the bar-code scanner contrasts with the most un-jovial downward-turned corners of my mouth. Call it pride, call it un-cordiality, call it what you will, but I don’t like pretense. I don’t like artificial friendliness. I don’t like strangers who initiate conversation for the sole purpose of winning me over to their side. Let him proclaim his good news. I’m not converting.
Posted by jonsligh at November 19, 2004 04:43 PMYeah, I hate that.
And I know we've discussed this before, but I wonder how often we take that approach in "soul-winning" -- trying to make some forceful sale of Christianity by "befriending" a total stranger for approximately 10 minutes.
Posted by: sam at November 19, 2004 05:04 PMWow. Great analogy. I wonder how often I've done that too, pretending to enjoy being a Christian long enough to convince someone else to get in on it too.
It doesn't help that my stint with Mary Kay reminded me of AWANA. It was way too close to sounding like a few soulwinning conferences I've been to.
Posted by: momtoast at November 19, 2004 05:39 PMI had a similar situation happen to me. I think the guy was watching me for awhile and assumed I was a single mother or something...I was in the childrens shoe section looking for work related stuff.
Anyways, he asked me if I could have anything what would it be...I suppose he thought I would say money. But I messed up his plan and said "I really have all I need! I'm saved and on my way to heaven....what else could I want?" That tripped him up alright. And it was a perfect witnessing opportunity. Praise the Lord for that!
Posted by: Rosina at November 19, 2004 09:22 PMI think this is a great example of why witnessing needs a relational context. Approaching a stranger to waste 15 minutes of their time generally doesn't win their affection.
Posted by: apple at November 22, 2004 09:22 AMYup, real relationships--not 10 minutes in a checkout line--are usually more effective means of true witness. If you've read my blog, you know I mean it :o) Though, I can't say the Lord hasn't used door-to-door witnessing or quick subway stop conversations for the expanse of His kingdom; I just know what my reaction is to sales calls (Hey, is Jen in?-who's this?-Tina.-Tina?-from City Mortage...-oh, I usually only my friends call me jen...), door-to-door salesmen, and pyramid-type schemers (scammers?), and have a hard time doing in good conscience what I can't stand others doing, though my "product" is of an infinitely greater value... If I'm really honest, though, I should admit that I don't extend myself enough, even in what I consider to be legitimate ways...But now I'm highjacking your blog, and all I meant to do was agree ;o)
Posted by: jen d at November 22, 2004 02:08 PMFortunately, Jen D, this is a hijack-friendly blog. You're right. It's easy to skip right over opportunities in hopes of finding the "perfect" opportunity. And it's easy to take easy opportunities (witness to a stranger who I'll never have to face again), instead of building relationships with my unsavory neighbors. Oh wretched man that I am.
Posted by: sligh at November 22, 2004 05:47 PMBasically, you’re saying that there’s more than one way to compromise the gospel. We can fight tenaciously for the elements of the gospel and then deliver it in way that contradicts the very nature of the gospel. That’s why Paul’s missionary team gave the Thessalonians, “not only the gospel of God but also our own lives.” It’s cake to corner somebody in a store. Spending 4 hours in someone’s living room crying and praying with them is another.
Posted by: derick at November 23, 2004 02:11 PMSo here's the question now: what does an isolated student do who wants to share Christ, but has few if any redemptive relationships because he has been "protected" from the world for much of his life?
I share the frustration with generally ineffective
(and even detrimental) methodologies; But what is more frustrating is living in a Christian subculture that makes developing relational contexts for the Gospel's sake more difficult.
Michael, some ideas:
1. Work a secular job.
2. If you play sports, play in the same place on a regular basis, develop some friendships.
3. I used to have all-night study parties at Denny's in undergrad. I met a lot of people that way. There's something about 3 A.M. 9th-cup-of-coffee discussions that opens people up.
4. Do good deeds. The Gospel deals with our spiritual needs. A "social gospel" changes the focus to our physical and emotional needs. That is bad. After all, what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul? Sometimes we avoid physical and emotional needs altogether, in fear of heading in a social gospel direction. We do well to be cautious--we do want to avoid a social gospel--but we should make sure we don't avoid ministering to people's physical and emotional needs. Don't just say "be ye warmed and filled." Do something about it. Give money to charity; involve yourself in community projects; help out with an after-school literacy program; give free music or art lessons to poverty-level kids; hook up with some sort of mentoring program and give up your time, money, and sanity to some emotionally-warped problem child. Teaching piano and playing X-Box with a fatherless and socially undeveloped kid is not direct evangelism. But it paves the road to evangelism, and does it well. Beyond that, you are engaging in pure religion that is pleasing to the Father (see James 1:27).
Having said all that, let me stress that I don't believe we have to earn the right to evangelize. The Gospel is the power of God to salvation. It's not as if God needs us to make the Gospel more palateable. My point is that we do not want to share the Gospel in a way that does not communicate love for God and neighbor. How dishonoring is it to God to treat evangelism like some sort of sales technique. How dishonoring is it to your neighbor to treat him like just another notch on your gun, to befriend him only so you can win him over to your side.
Posted by: sligh at November 23, 2004 05:00 PMThose are excellent suggestions...at my secular job in NYC there was such an opportunity to get into peoples lives! I went to my co-workers birthday parties, rejoiced at the birth of their children...and encouraged them during hard times too. They knew from the beginning that I am a Christian...that was never a question. But, I wasn't giving them a 'sales pitch' every time I opened my mouth either. There were times during lunch when I was able to point them to scripture in my bible explaining salvation. It seemed that they trusted me more because I invested in their lives. And I also allowed them into my life...and even shared with them my struggles. I think it proved me to be a 'real' person rather than a cracker jack box type Christian who never has a problem or a struggle.
It was only after leaving that environment did I realize that I didn't have to go far away to a foreign land in order to be a 'missionary' I had a mission field at work, in my apartment building, in my classroom, etc.
Posted by: Rosina at November 24, 2004 10:13 AMPlease note: Comments will not appear immediately. Your comment will appear upon approval by the blog's editor. We had to implement this to decrease the amount of spam that our site receives. Please forgive the inconvenience. We are looking into other, friendlier options.