Over the last year my desire for humanitarian work has grown and has been reinforced by many, many passages in the Bible. I started looking around online to learn more about the Peace Corps and agencies like it. I kept running into a problem though—with many of those agencies, I had no guarantee that I would be able to be part of a church wherever I ended up.

Months later, I started looking for Peace Corps alternatives, and saw that Americorps’ CityYear program had a site in Philadelphia—where I had been part of Urban Imperative two years ago. So I had a church. And if I applied by midnight of a certain date, I had the chance to get into the program.

My thinking was that if anyone were to give a year of life in volunteer work for underprivileged communities, it should be a Christian—someone who feels amazingly privileged because of the good news of Jesus, and one who is called by Him to care for needy people.

If there are programs for ameliorating the dying inner-city communities with tutors, mentors, and all-purpose volunteers, Christians should be the first to join. It should never be said of us that we have a lot to say but not as much to do.

With all that in my mind, I sat in that apartment in the center of Manhattan last May, put my class work on hold, wrote 4 essays, finished my application, and sent it off at 12:05am. A little late, but it worked.

2 phone interviews, 2 references, and 2 months later I received confirmation that I had been accepted.

So this Wednesday, I’ll be taking another trip up the east coast. Part of me just wanting to be in the city, part of me wanting something out of the ordinary, but some part of me wanting to live pure religion, because…

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to kept oneself unstained from the world” (James 1:27).

I was sad to leave NYC last Saturday, and I was sad to leave SC today. Or yesterday, since it is 1:17am. So far my summer has been great, but entirely unhelpful in giving me direction on where to live for however many days or decades I have left. I loved NYC, I loved being back home this past week, and now I love being back in Philadelphia for a couple days.

But I can safely say that I don't think I'll stay in NH, which is my next destination. As great as camp is...NH has the drawbacks of the North (i.e., cold) without its benefits (i.e., big cities). I can get beautiful countrysides in the South where I can also be warm or even hot, darn it. Now if a nothern style city ever ends up in the South...that would be wonderful. Enough...

Here are the links for a project my group did back at WJI. Definitely amateur, but still exciting. We used Soundslides and Garageband.

WJI media presentations

My group's presentation

Going to bed before 1am has been a Herculean (no, nonexistent) achievement for me up here lately. We have 4 book report-type assignments and 3 real articles due at midnight Friday night. Feels almost like undergrad again, except that here I might actually sleep for a few minutes.

I’ve been posting some pictures on facebook, but I think these links should work whether or not you have facebook.

Memorial Day Album

WJI New York Album

I really love the city. Not always in a completely virtuous, compassionate way. Maybe I just like it. I like the big tall buildings and the views and subways, even though I’ve blown hours up here learning them the hard way, once ending up in the wrong borough.

I like having a balcony looking out into a place that never stops. I’m not thrilled that the only star I see…actually isn’t a star, it’s probably a planet. Nevermind.

But other things make up for not having stars. Going to the top of the Rockefeller Center or sitting on big rocks in Brooklyn beside the river with friends across from the Manhattan skyline…

Or wandering dozens of Manhattan blocks just to see what is there while listening to Jerram Barrs talk about Francis Schaeffer (free seminary class lectures online from Covenant Seminary!)…

Or jogging to see the sunset and to read the Psalms from the pier at 42nd street on Manhattan’s west coast…

Or melting in front of a construction site the size of 4 city blocks where thousands died and where two massive buildings once stood.

An art therapy project on display nearby shows crayon drawings of burning towers with inside jokes and simple I-miss-you’s written in children’s handwriting.

--

In the mornings I go to Redeemer Presbyterian, pastored by Tim Keller, and in the evenings I go to Williamsburg Church, pastored by Robert Elkin.

I’ve had a great time with Rob and the group at the Sunday services and at the Memorial Day cookout followed by ultimate Frisbee, grueling ultimate Frisbee.

Brannon came up to visit and introduced me to a small part of the live music indie scene, seeing shows by Steven Delopoulos and Kelly McRae.

Brannan, a Messianic Jew named Dalci, and I spent the later part of Memorial Day together on a rooftop, in Kashkaval restaurant for super expensive appetizers, and then to the top of the Rockefeller Center, where his is a security guard.

More again soon. Sad to be leaving Saturday.

A few of us visited the Museum of Modern Art last night to top off one of the busiest days up here. I like to think of myself as someone who appreciates art to some degree, but I was an extra wimpy art critic compared to the hardcore ones all around me there at the MOMA.

I think Jackson Pollock was my favorite, but Monet, Balla, and Rothko amazed me also. I’ll need to learn more to really appreciate Picasso, though.

Several of the artists were communicating by their art that God does not exist,
but it was actually a really worshipful experience, seeing beauty and praising Him for it.

Dan Perjovschi intriqued me with his political marker-like drawings (see http://www.perjovschi.ro/projects-85-dan-perjovschi-moma.html). It’s anti-war and anti-capitalism, but not cliché. I appreciated his critique of materialism the most, especially one picture of a man turning away a homeless person, telling him his house was full. Behind him his house was full of cars, tv’s, toys, a pool, etc.

Another interesting drawing was simply a massive “ME,” with a very small “you” underneath the “E.”

--

We visited a mosque yesterday, after having spent the morning learning about the Islam in today’s world. Our guide was taking classes at the Baptistchurch-turned-synagogue-turned-mosque. He had grown up as a Catholic, converting to Sufi Islam after completing a religious studies degree at a public university in America. His expression of Islam is much more peaceful than the stereotype, and he was a gracious host.

We attended a service, and the message was translated into English. The text taught, “Do not turn away from the pardon” The Imam taught the assembly always to forgive, and never to seek revenge for self, but “only for Allah.”

--

I’m enjoying my time here a lot. I had absolutely no reason to stay up until 1:30am last night, but I ended up having a great time talking to one of my roommates and praying together. Then I fell asleep on the futon with my face on my journal, waking up noticing my face feeling weird at 6:45am. I had just fallen out of stomache-like balloon in the sky that my friend Adam Choi had trapped me in because I was chasing him down in a field for stealing my car in the city. Thankfully, he got distracted swatting moths and so I was able to escape. I wish I remembered my dreams more often.

3 couches in the room, a tv that hasn't been on since I've been here, a great view down the Avenue of the Americas from our balcony. So a nice set up.

Read with some of the other students today in Bryant Park, then came back for a typical (but very good) meal with single people--spaghetti.

Lots of good discussion. Several of our Christian colleges were paid a visit by Soul Force, so we talked through how our schools handled it. Also several interesting questions from the other students about my dear alma mater.

I think it will end up being a good time of Christian fellowship, and not just school. Maybe it will be the college dorm experience I never really had.

I took a long walk last night so I could learn more of the city on my own, so I went maybe 15 blocks or so, putting on my New York face and ear buds to act like I had somewhere I needed to go, of course.

Some observations from my walk last night,
by the numbers...

5 Starbucks stores
4 McDonald's
3 Subways
1 couple making out
1 embarrassing game of footsies
2 Café Europa stores
2 otherwise normal men talking to themselves
2 Ann Taylor Loft stores

We’ve been covering a lot of ground, so I won’t really be telling a large percentage of it if and when I actually blog. But today we talked through the historical developments that led to the strong anti-intellectual thread in evangelicalism, and also the feminization of evangelicalism in the wake of the Great Awakenings and especially after the Industrial Revolution, when a much larger percentage of men left the home business or farm to work away from their families all day. It was some fascinating stuff, and I am not completely sure so far what the implications are.

Some other books we’re reading for the course—

The Heart of Evangelism by Jerram Barrs
--A great book by a Schaeffer-ite, an excellent treatment of the subject. It was an easy read, and yet still covered a lot of ground. I’d highly recommend it.

White Muslim: From LA to New York…to Jihad? By Brendan Bernhard
--A good read so far. It chronicles the conversion of Charles Vincent, a white American from California. He converted shortly after September 11, 2001. And he is not alone in turning to Islam. Some have called post-9/11 conversions to Islam as “the other effect” of the attacks.

On Writing Well by William Zinsser
--Haven’t started yet

Politics by Hendrik Hertzberg
--Excellent writer from the political left. He is a great communicator, and I have been especially drawn to his essays on capital punishment. He will be one of the lunch-time speakers next week.

Well, back to reading, or maybe writing an essay.
Looking forward to going to Williamsburg Church (williamsburgchurch.com) in Brooklyn and Redeemer Presbyterian this Sunday!!

and then I stand here at the e-mail kiosk, contemplative.

just got out of a dramatic presentaton of the lives of John and Betty Stam, martyred missionaries to China.

This was Betty's prayer at age 19:

"Lord, I give up my own purposes and plans, all my own desires, hopes, and ambitions and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all, utterly to Thee, to be Thine forever. I hand over to Thy keeping all of my friendships, my love; all the people whom I love are to take second place in my heart. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Work out Thy whole will in my life, at any cost, now and forever. 'To me to live is Christ and to die is gain.'"

and so now I stand here at the e-mail kiosk, contemplative.

Somehow those two things simplify life for me tonight.

(written and sent in an e-mail a few weeks ago)

---

Since high school, I've taken a significant step away from studying, arguing, or really paying consistent attention to politics and current events for various reasons. But...hearing that the crocodile hunter died glued me to the news for a little while.

Then hearing this quote on the news shortly after all the tributes really hit me.

It's sobering to hear from this man that I (or at least people like me) am his enemy. But it's more sobering to have him remind me what my faith really calls me to do, what turning the other cheek might look like in real life.

---

"For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake." Phil. 1:29

"And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" Luke 9:23

(edited 2:41pm 9/7/06)

It was a little frustrating, but it gave me the opportunity to do two things I had never done before. Giving one of these to a gas station guy (whom I bought an unhelpful map from) and getting to drive across the Ben Franklin Bridge at night both helped me to see it as fully worthwhile.

That night I played basketball with several people from Grace Bible Church, and the next morning went to their men’s breakfast—always an encouraging time. Today one of the guys and I are meeting up for prayer and then taking a trip up to Westminster. I’ve been a little more attracted to RTS from my talks with its professors and because of its huge discount for BJU grads. But I don’t mind giving Westminster a second visit, if for no other reason than seeing the bookstore. And of course Masters would be great, but I don’t make it across the country very often, or at all, really

It’s great to be back here, even though I’m leaving tomorrow for Baltimore. Then home on Friday. It’s also kind of weird to leave what was my life for the last two months in New Hampshire. My prayer is for the counselor guys to continue to grow, investing the same energy they gave at camp into their churches, both in giving and receiving encouragement, rebuke, and instruction (Cf. Hebrews 3:13, 10:24).

Here are a couple pictures from camp—

This is a picture before the part of "meetings and greetings" when the program director would introduce the leadership staff. We (the dean of men and the deans of women) came in and announced the counselors of each cabin with a different theme each week. One of the girls had an idea that we should come in with kind of a Princess Bride theme.

The second one was taken towards the end of a game during teen week.

We’re just coming off a really good teen week here at camp and now are back to two more junior weeks (7-12 year olds). Perhaps the most visibly encouraging ministry last week came through the guest speaker, Trevor Brown (proclaimonline.com). The theme of the week (and theme song) was Purify My Heart.

It was a little bit of an easier week for me in that there were no long counseling opportunities, and the counselors made my job easy—they really seem to be pursuing peace and holiness among each other and in desiring to live God-ward lives.

In seeing so many teens breaking down at one evening service in particular, I found plenty of opportunities for me to fight skepticism. Even without the whole drawn-out, music-laden invitation system, sometimes I’m quick to assume that responses or decisions are merely emotion.

But after hearing several people share the truth that drove the emotion, I took some time in the prayer chapel to pray and ask God if it had been Him at work. I became increasing confident that it had been, which in turn led me to confess my general coldness toward and doubt of it.

On Thursday night, many teens shared the great things God had done in their hearts that week. My prayer for them is much the same as it is for the guy counselors I meet with—that they would be spiritually parented after leaving this spiritual orphanage. I want to hear in the coming months and years that they are being discipled, that they have people in their churches who are like Paul to them.

“To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Him we proclaim, warning everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ.” (Colossians 1:27-28)

Some other things I wanted to share—

--Praise God for two counselors who responded well to correction this past week.

--Praise God for reconciliation between two of us who had misunderstood each other.

--Please pray for three or four counselors who are sick.

--Please pray for me to handle wisely a situation at camp that I don’t know how to summarize.

--hmm…pray that my foot would heal without getting infected. I cut it a little deep this weekend and it’s driving me nuts. Super hard to keep clean at camp when everything seems wet and dirty all the time.

--Praise God for bringing my friend and dear brother in Christ Joel back from Africa (see his blog link on the side). I’m excited to go to his house this weekend to hang out with him, his sister Liz, and his parents. I was there almost every weekend two years ago when I counseled here, so it’s been weird to spend most of my weekends still at camp this summer.

Thanks for praying for me. I usually don’t have phone service but I try to check my e-mail every once in a while. The one I check the most is mgemb308@bju.edu. Love to hear from you and hear how you are doing.

This is the address here:
165 Camp Good News Rd.
Charlestown, NH
03603

Thanks for your prayers. It's hard to believe I've been here over a month now.

Here is a passage that has been really big in my life over the past week and a half. sorry such a short entry--more soon, maybe?

James 3:13-18
Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

The past two weeks have been huge. I wish I could share it all. But restricting me more than the time I need in order to write is the fact that the details of discipleship and relational ministry can’t really be up on the web.

When you’re talking about campers, you say things like, “God really worked and two children began lives of faith in Jesus.” When you’re talking about counselors and staff members, you speak more in terms of addressing long-term issues and rejoicing in Spirit-given softening and repentance and growth.

Some things that I can say, however, that have gone on recently—

--My cousin Cory got married last Saturday, and it was a really fun weekend. For the first time, I participated in the whole decorate/mar the car thing. Nothing permanent, of course.

--This past week I got to teach a few classes for the counselors. I really enjoyed teaching and I think the sessions went well. I team-taught one on camper issues (counseling campers of a non-Christian faith, how to handle bedtime, fighting & child protection policies, etc.) and then I taught one on counselor relationships.

--God made one important conversation and two counseling opportunities go really well. I am excited to see things happen in people’s lives that I doubted would ever happen. My faith was pretty weak. I know God owes nothing to the man who prays doubting, but I am very thankful that He is merciful and still grants answers to poorly done prayers.

Right now I’m sitting in a coffee shop here in downtown Claremont, NH, which is about 20 minutes from camp. I was asking someone at camp about finding wireless and everyone laughed. I didn’t realize how accustomed I have become to city life.

But I guess the joke’s on them, since I actually found it.

I just got back from Cancun, Mexico on a vacation with my aunt and uncle and cousins. My uncle called me the Friday before last to let me know they had room at the resort,
so we left the next Thursday, and then my flight home was last Thursday.

I’ll try to post more about my time in Mexico later, but this is a picture of what was one of my favorite parts of the trip—the trip to see the Mayan ruins at Chichen Itza.

Then my older sister was married on Saturday. I think I am starting to actually enjoy weddings now that I know the people…or now that I am in the weddings. Since I haven't gotten the pictures from the wedding on the computer yet, I wanted to at least post one of her and me. (I’m wearing a pin from children’s church in this pic, by the way)

Then I drive up to Camp Good News in New Hampshire to be the “Dean of Men” (that is really my title). It’s a big name for simply being the counselor of the counselor guys, plus with a few other responsibilities.

I have a vague sense that I should feel more tentativeness and lack of confidence coupled with a recognition of insufficiency to have a leadership position and discipleship responsibilities. But for some reason...these things haven’t been on my mind recently in the way I would expect them to.

I’ve been enjoying my time here in Greenville tutoring, being involved in church, doing yard work, FINISHING Evangelicalism Divided and The Four Loves, and working on my correspondence course in US history.

Getting to camp has seemed way off in the distance, almost to the point that it has neither worried me nor gotten me significantly pumped up. But I get there next Monday.

Now the excitement is growing, and at the same time I want to feel more spiritually prepared. So please pray for safety as I drive the thousand or so miles over the next week, and that my time with family and friends will be encouraging for all of us, motivating us all on to love and good deeds.

More about all this as the summer goes on, of course.
Thanks for reading,

Michael

And if they can’t deliver every once in a while, most people give them the benefit of any doubt by laughing anyway. At times it is as if people known as comedians can take a break from any effort toward solid humor, because any words coming out of their mouths are automatically funny. They are their own ready-made context. The same words fall flat when they come from the mouth of a nerd or a rookie jokester.

But the comedian is the one under a curse. He can almost never be both caring confidant and consummate comedian. It is difficult to get respect to kindle when you typically spark laughter. The two fires can’t seem to coexist very long. Not that respectable people are never funny. They like A1 on their steak. But no one having a bite of their conversations complains that there is too much sauce on not enough meat.

Comedians may distract from pain or lighten a mood, but they aren’t encouraging in any substantial way. I didn’t go to the Bill Cosby clips on my Ipod when I drove away from the funeral of my friend’s grandmother a few weeks ago. Levity feels banal when you want gravity.

But if not reverenced, the comedians are popular. Those who’ve earned a reputation as funny people can draw on this identity at any time for a small thrill. It’s like being dressed up and walking by a crowd, catching everyone’s glance. It’s a little inner boost. But if those little joys always get fed and grow up to live and thrive, the deeper and more fulfilling social joys begin to die.

A merry heart may do good like medicine, but it’s right beside eating and drinking in the fool’s trivium. If “tomorrow we die” and that is it, the fool lives today laughing. If laughter can keep his mind off life, death, other people, or another Person, he will toss out the steak entirely and chug the sauce.

And though he may live many more years, he has died of an overdose long before tomorrow.

“And lead weights to your feet may my words be,
that you move slowly, like a weary man,
to the ‘yes’ and ‘no’ of what you do not see.

“For he is a fool, and low among his kind
who answers yay or nay without reflection,
nor does it matter on what road he runs blind.

“Opinions too soon formed often deflect
man’s thinking from the truth into gross error
in which his pride then binds his intellect

“It is worse than vain for men to leave the shore
and fish for truth unless they know the art ;
for they return worse off than they were before.”*

* Cf. "A little learning is a dangerous thing; Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring." (Alexander Pope)