December 02, 2003
difficult questions
I've been thinking about this recently. I don't know anyone else really who has chronic pain. We've been pretty personal in recent days (transparency, by this shall all men know, in response) on ben's friends.
But this is a different kind of personal I think. I want to ask you about my medication. I think that medical science is good. Don't get me wrong. I think that is covered quite nicely by God's mandate to have dominion over the earth. The verse that keeps coming to my mind is Ephesians 5:18
And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
I know the interpretation. It is pretty straightforward. But do you think that an application of this verse could be pointed to me?
Here's the situation. I am taking 2400 ml grams of trileptal. This is to help me manage my pain. But what I am concerned with is being "drunk" on this medication. Does God want me to live on this? Or does He want me to trust His grace and be filled with the Spirit? Or is this medication His grace? I have struggled with this disease for 9 years. How do we recognize His grace? Sometimes it is so clear. Other times I want it, I need it...but I'm not sure if I see it. Am I a good, trusting Christian if I am lying there immobilized by pain? Am I a quitter because I left school?
Back to my point. The medication helps me. There is not doubt. But I have begun to realize that it has side effects just like other medications I have tried. I have random moments of lethologica and difficulty speaking. My concentration wavers at odd times (this makes me hesitant to drive). And I am very concerned that this drug is affecting my personality. (I have noticed since I've been on the medication that some of my habits have changed.)
I am not asking for a medical opinion, though I am planning on seeking one. I am asking for a spiritual opinion. I know that you might not have an answer. But I seek your prayers as well. Please think about this. If you have any ideas, please let me know. If you prefer not to comment, my e-mail address is towards the bottom of my index page in the sidebar.
Thank you for listening,
grace and peace to you in abundance!
"I have random moments of lethologica and difficulty speaking."
Warning:
Grad school does this to you, too. And being pregnant does far worse. Just FYI. Ü
Seriously, I am wondering if the contingent factor in your decision is this word "excess" and the intended connotation and denotation of that usage in Scripture.
The Bible talks about alcohol in these terms, as you've already alluded to. A little wine for your stomach's sake (the alcohol usage wherein is medicinal purposes), as clearly opposed to abandoned use (drunkenness, the alcohol usage wherein is excess).
I imagine that the line-drawing for recreational/social drinking for believers in Jesus'/Paul's time was somewhere in between medicinal and excessive. I imagine the lines were determined based upon what (per each individual) constituted "appropriate."
Your conscience before God is the key, I think, Micah. If you are finding an excessive dependence upon the drug, if you enjoy it to a point of excess and loss of control, if your motives leave God out entirely, etc....
Are you taking this drug out of faith?
I think moderation would be good. Obviously you don't want to OD or use this as an escape mechanism/security blanket. However, it doesn't sound to me like you're doing that at all. It sounds like you are trying to be sensitive to / submissive to the lordship of Christ over even this taking medicine (eating/drinking to the glory of God).
What if you just keep trying to take the minimum dosage necessary/weaning off to whatever possible extent (in keeping with physicians' recommendations)? Can you do that with a faithful conscience before God? I'm not going through it. But those are my thoughts. If it were me, I think I would do that.
It's all about what He wants for you. He wants chronic pain for you, and for the present season it seems like the medical prescriptions accompany that Metaphysical Prescription from Him.
It's not that I enjoy it, per se; I am just following the doctor's orders.
I was thinking more of the conclusion of the verse, I guess, "but be filled with the Spirit." Can I be filled by Him if my faculties aren't completely under His control because of this medicine?
Posted by: james micah at December 2, 2003 03:40 PMvery good point. in fact, my pastor (bixby) just returned home from a missions conference he was speaking for. another of the speakers was a missionary dentist. while he was there, he fixed up my pastor and his wife and daughter for free, and they were really blessed by that ministry.
pastor was particularly impressed by the practicality of such a ministry (in spite of the fact that it is difficult to prove comparative relevance to reluctant stateside supporters while on deputation), because no normal human being can concentrate on spiritual matters if his felt needs are screaming out to him. who can focus on Bible reading or listen steadily to a sermon when a toothache is hammering?
not to hijack your thread. :) it was just a good point. i think if the resources are there to be able to avoid pain, then it's ok to avail yourself of them if it will free your faculties up for better occupations.
Posted by: joy at December 2, 2003 04:22 PMto pick up a little thread joy left dangling on pregnancy, there are medicines now to relieve pain in the birth process. there are pain management pills. they are for MANAGING pain. if we abuse those, if we go overboard and can't live without them even after the pain is gone, then we have stepped into the realm of wrong.
another random thought. can you searve the Lord fully when you are intense pain all the time? can you complete all the Lord wants you to w/o taking the pills? i think that God has given man the ability to create things to help us and we are not commanded not to avail ourselves of them. again, you can go too far, but i think that all comes down to personal preference. when do you draw the line? when do you say "enough, i am not in control."
that is between you and the Lord. but we can help. =)
Posted by: hill at December 2, 2003 05:57 PMmaybe the 1st and 10th commandments would be good self-eval benchmarks?
Posted by: joy at December 3, 2003 12:07 PMPlease note: Comments will not appear immediately. Your comment will appear upon approval by the blog's editor. We had to implement this to decrease the amount of spam that our site receives. Please forgive the inconvenience. We are looking into other, friendlier options.
