March 11, 2014

1142. to ease pain

i dream of barbed wire wrapping my head and face and neck and torso and hips,
sleeping like that.

Tormented conscience won't so much as tiptoe naturally to a place it is safe to be.

to ease pain
i dream of how the noose will coil above the loop, and the walks, how many beautiful walks, will find a place to release the burden of not knowing the "truth" others have, but bearing mine, finally.

tormented, conscience lay still as floorboards, breathing the basement below.


__________________
Continue, writer.
Do you know torment, really?
Use another word, find another.

You are disturbed. Your pain is eased by those imaginings,
and do you desire them, really? Do you not desire better ease?
Kindness you have and have had given to you, and you still call out
barbed wire and rope, really?

You are disturbed, conscience, for not having as much agreement
as comforts you. Mind you, your conscience is not another's and cannot be
that other person's agreement. Disturbed you, dreaming to ease sleep in foreign
forms, wake yourself to forgiveness, your own.

Free becomes what you think. Do not bind yourself or another, those who love you,
because an agreement is not met, disturbing as this is. You are not tormented. You are free, disturbed writer. Draw from love, and better, let Love draw for you the weight you know is empty for want and thirst. You sleep too much. Torment is physical where reality dwells. Put your words away. At night,
sleep, and when the day arrives, arise to meet it.

Your pain is eased, writer.
Hone your words to bless.
Tame your disturbance by
waking God's gifts, even if
sight is all that is for now.
Other gifts will rise, and as
they do, receive them how
they are, large or small, a
portion that grows more
graceful than you can see.

Posted by nancy at March 11, 2014 04:52 PM
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